"Everyone has their own dark side waiting to be discovered and I had found mine"

In a real world, I might be your friend, Sister, brother and lover
but in here I'm let me do anything my heart asked to

Friday, April 20, 2012

Hi there!

Been a long time..hmm...2years since the last time I update this blog.
Too many things happen until I forgot to write it in this bloga, oh well the main reason is I just forgot the login name, plus I got no inspiration no more ~sigh~

However, just FYI I'm settled with 1 man now..big change, for me for my perspective about marriage , oh...shoot did I mention about marriage ??? haha.. yes I'm married.

oh well that's about it right now

Sunday, July 11, 2010

deepest fear

In my deepest fear, I saw you left me
Thousand of love words you gave me
suddenly become the words I hate

You said Its our faith
you said life is about choices
yet, you are the one who left

In my deepest fear
I can only cry while you left
In my deepest fear
I can only see you walked away
without a words

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

dulu dan sekarang

waktu itu aku tidak melihat mu
waktu itu aku tidak merasakan mu

sekarang aku mencari mu
sekarang aku merindu mu

terjebak dalam sinar mata sayu mu
terjebak dalam senyum simpul mu

mencari, merindu dan memimpikan mu
bener, semua itu aku rasakan
ketika aku kehilangan mu

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

semua sama

sounds stupid...tapi baru di sadari semua lelaki itu sama
and so I met this guy, he is sweet and polite man that I know
never and will never going to hurts you, he's old enough to have sex with but guess what he never even been kissed :) i his age it is a little bit impossible that the fact that he never kiss a women other then his mother and sister.

So here I am, in shock when I know he never been kissed, sementara gue dengan semena-mena main asal cium aja, singkat cerita, I teach him how
~sigh~ feels like a naughty girl

anyways...times goes by, and its more then just a kiss
we make out..yes, we make out...
tapi...rasa-rasanya aku ngak pernah deh, ngajarin dia untuk lebih dari sekedar kissing
gak pernah ngajarin ngeraba2 and never teach him how to MAKE OUT
sampai aku bilang ke dia, kayaknya kamu jadi nakal deh, dan dia cuma bilang
siapa yah, yang ngajarin? hihihi....

maybe that is what they called animal instinct in human
hahaha...and yes, semua laki laki sama saja...they still wanna enjoy your body
but what makes this man different is he wants me, body and soul

Thursday, October 29, 2009

here we are

and so, we are here once more
sharing loves, laugh and tears
though never thought of it
we will be in this lovely stage again spooks me to start
cause, once it was ended with tears

and now, all I asked
stay with me, always....
cause I gave you my all

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

It's been a while...quite long actually
since my last post..

suddenly, Time wasn't on my side lately
terlalu klise kalo aku bilang sibuk
karena mmg gak sibuk-sibuk banget
its just I don't have....passion lately =)

so forgive me for abandoned my own world

Monday, March 23, 2009


OMG, I just don't know what I feel right now
something just not right when you're not around
something in his way, woos me
Thinking, those silly things we made
and those crazy time we had
it's just makes me smile and brighten my day

I didn't wish this would happened
All I know, I had fun with you, and so do u, I supposed
I don't want to fall in love with you
cause I know its just not right


Wednesday, January 21, 2009


How are you? How is your life lately?
Did you have fun? are you busy?
All questions rumbling in my mind
as I listening to your song

This feeling, right now, I can't describe
somehow confusing me
It's not love, but I do know I miss you
It's not love, but I do know I need you
and I do hope it is not love

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Fake Sun

Your my Sun, My fake Sun
Who shines my days
Though its not bright
But I still can see the path in front of me

Your my Sun, My dear artificial Sun
My one and only lights
Who always come after the dawn

Though my one and only wish
That you will never stop rising each day
But, you suddenly stop shinning above me
Stop shadowing my life
I lost my sun

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Till we met again...

Sometimes our dreams faded along the way

And when your hear the silence whisper

You’ll think of me

In the next world, we may meet again

And thats when you’ll called my name

once again…

and realized, how I meant for you

Thursday, September 25, 2008

don't know

Am I wrong to choose my own path?
Am I wrong to choose my own destiny
or am I wrong to even think that I was wrong?

I tried to escaped from what I felt
but I just couldn't
Even if I expose myself to the brilliant wind
It won't go away, I look at myself
and I hate it

for what I've done
for what couldn't do
for everything

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dua Orang

Aku tahu, Ia menatap ku
Walau dari kejauhan
Ia tersenyum seakan aku menyapanya

Aku tahu, Ia membelai ku
Walau tidak bersentuhan sekalipun
Ia berbisik walau aku tak mendengar

Aku tahu, Ia mengagumi ku
Walau Ia ada tambatan hatinya
Begitu juga aku

Dua orang yang terjebak dalam cinta & kesetiaan
Kekaguman dan kebosanan
Dua orang yang mencari udara segar
Untuk bernafas, walau sesaat

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Do people changes?

akhir2 ini gue jadi sering chatting sama temen SMA yang sedikit membuat gue amazed sama dia, tiba2 aja jadi asik ngobrol sama dia, jadi asik cela-celaan, dan lebih membuat gue amazed itu dia bisa memberi gue satu masukan (walau agak maksa) yang berharga dan yg gk pernah kepikiran sama gue ato temen-temen gue lainnya padahal nasihat dia itu simple banget dan logis! sangkin amazednya gue sampe bilang "ternyata ngobrol sama elo tuh asik yah, gak nyangka gue lo bisa se asik ini di ajak curhat2an" and he just reply "baru tau!" hihihi jutek nya sedikit tidak berubah

Then, gue curhat2an sama temen cewe gue yg lain biasalah membicarakan si temen gw ini, gue bilang aneh ya, dia bisa berubah bgt, asik banget di ajak ngobrol, bisa becanda dan bisa curhat! secara dulu tuh dia itu terkenal sebagai Mr. Cool, cuek, judes, jutek, semuanya yg jelek2 tp berubung muka dia cakep, tinggi dan Mr. Famous alhasil banyak lah cewe-cewe naksir dia (uhm..not me) eh, temen cewe gue cuma menjawab dengan santai dan singkat namun padat
"yah wajar dong ka, secara dia itu mantan fans lo!" ihhh....ha....tidak membantu!

I don't believe that people just simply changed they changed because they want it to changes
not just simply changed, it need times, experiences , perlu satu titik yang membuat orang menjadi berubah

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Say Anything

Say anything....
that can hurt me
even if its meaningless
even if it's just a sweet lie

Say anything...
to my lying heart
Say anything...
Whatever you want to say

Say anything.....
just don't tell me you love me
need me, adore me
it will dry my every tears

Monday, July 14, 2008

The Smile

I saw that smile again
A smile that has been missed
in many moon
been gone since you left me

and in one night
one smile put a rainbow
vividly in my dream which I try to reached
but its vanished with the dawn
as I woke up

Friday, July 4, 2008

need a holiday

There is a time when you hates people, when you want to be somewhere else
some new place, where no one knows you, not to be known by people
no "hi" no meaningless words.

Place where people can just see you the way you want it too, no judgment
so you can express anything you want without being fear, shy or whatever it is that place exist?

~sigh~ I think I need a holiday, ne?

Monday, June 30, 2008

Di bukit

Di bukit itu aku menunggu mu
belaian angin tak mampu merayu ku
tak mampu menghapus ingatan aku akan kamu

Setiap jejak yang kau pijak di rumput
akan aku ikuti, tanpa sadar
setiap wangi yang melekat pada angin
seperti mengingatkan aku pada mu
menghantarku ke tempat ini

Di bukit itu aku masih menunggu

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

in dreams

Once again
I saw you in my dream
with that questioned face
that I never forget

did you regret for leaving alone?
or did you sad looking at me
alone and clueless?

Hint me so I can walk longer
Guide me so I walk in the path
and please....
never leave even only in my dreams

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Tentang Rindu

Seperti kerinduan pada Allah yang tidak terlihat
pada sahabat yang jauh
pada anak yang merantau
pada kekasih yang jauh di mata

Kerinduan yang tidak berujung
Kerinduan yang tidak berbatas
Kerinduan pada orang terkasih
yang telah meninggalkan kita

Menipiskan batas antara
Keikhlasan dengan Melupakan
Menipiskan batas antara
Mimpi dan realita
Sungguh...perasaan yang menggalaukan

Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Line

I said
I wanna start something new
but you told my hand so tight
so I can't walk any longer

I said
I don't need you but you know I was lied
and you strokes my hair
whispering those magic words

Yet, here I am
still waiting in a thin line
of Love and Adore
With no final words